I began the gonadotrophin medication immediately believing my ovaries would be stimulated and I would be able to finally produce healthy eggs
By the time I walked out of the hospital after my first set of injections, Pain shot at every part of my body. My husband had called to inform me he couldn’t make it to the hospital because he needed to drive his mother to see an important personnel. Since I couldn’t drive in the state I was, I abandoned my red KIA at the hospital and flagged down a taxi.
As the driver, a man whose cheeks were covered in hurriedly drawn tribal marks, headed for the express, I dredged up memories of my life as a social worker and concluded that life had been easier than it is now. We gave our bodies. Got our cash in return. Moved on with our lives and stayed away from commitment. Even though we wanted to have men to call ours, we got accustomed to accepting that we lived to survive.
The night I paid Mirabel a visit in Abuja, I had been stunned at her plush apartment and car. She had left Madam Theresa for good. I was astonished to discover that she made in a month seven times our monthly income at the brothel. Mirabel’s skin glowed. I saw her shoes, her perfumes, make-up kits, dresses all of which stood out like the boutiques where we window shopped on Victoria Island. She had her own cook, gardener and house keeper. All for taking up the position of a Senator’s mistress.
When Mirabel persuaded me to come over to Abuja so she could introduce me to Alhaji Mustapha, I almost gave in. But something stopped me. I had met Christ some months before and my heart couldn’t accept this new lifestyle. She begged me again to stay with her until I got used to the trade and promised she would give me 100,000naira to shop for new wears.
The offer was tempting. But the scripture I had read that morning rang so loud in my ears.
‘The world and its desires will pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.’
I wondered if I had been a fool to reject the juicy offer. Since I couldn’t birth a child, becoming a mistress could be a perfect option.
I alighted and trudged towards the duplex flanked by neatly mowed flowers. Silence greeted me when I stepped in. My husband came out of the kitchen, holding a cup. With his free hand, he wrapped his hand around my waist.
“Baby I’m sorry I couldn’t pick you up. I had to see mum’s doctor. I think we have the solution to our problem.”
I frowned. “What are you saying?”
“This doctor is the best. He has helped over hundred women conceive. Infact I saw a woman dancing in front of his clinic, holding a set of twins. She was just crying and-“
“So what about the treatment we’ve already started?”
My husband hissed. “I don’t trust that doctor jare. This guy I’m telling you about is the main deal. We will go and see him tomorrow.”
I folded my hands stubbornly. “I am going nowhere.”
My husband glared at me. “You will go. You do not have a choice in this matter. Besides, when our babies arrive, it is you who will jump from one place to another dancing and clapping.”
My lips quivered.
“I’m taking four days off work so we can focus on this together. “Baby please. I promise, this is the last process we will try out. Just trust me with this.”
He handed me the cup. “Drink this.”
I peered at the content. Green substance with shredded leaves floating on it. The smell was horrible.
“What is this?”
“A mixture of natural herbs and African roots. It is known to be the best strengthener for the ovaries. It prevents premature development of the ovaries. Trust me dear, it’s wonderful.”
I pushed it away. He brought it close to my lips. I shook my head.
I was going to push it away again when I heard voices outside. They have arrived. I grabbed the cup from him. In one gulp, I drained it. I thrust the empty cup into his hand and ran upstairs. I entered my room. The walls began to swirl and as I swayed with it, I grabbed a chair for support. It tumbled and I landed headlong with it.
I woke up on a hospital bed to find Kemi sitting beside me, holding my hands.
“How are you feeling.” Kemi said.
I smiled. “My head hurts. But I’m good. What happened to me?”
“Your husband brought you here unconscious.”
I sighed. “I’m hungry.”
“I’ll get you something to eat.” As she made to stand up, I grabbed her hand.
“Kemi, please tell me the truth. Can I have ever have a baby?”
Kemi touched my face playfully. She looked away.
“Kemi you brought me to Christ. You’ve been my friend for years so I know you will never lie to me.”
“Kike, my husband confirmed that you are fine. All the tests he ran on you showed there is nothing wrong with your reproductive system.”
I wiped the tears with the back of my hand. ” I deserve to be punished. I have slept with married men, scattered marriages, received curses from heartbroken wives, made money channeled towards the children’s school fees of my customers. It’s my turn to suffer. God is punishing me.” I smiled sadly.
“Whosoever is in Christ is a new creature. Old things are passed away. All things have become new. Christ became sin for you so you can be the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus.”
I sniffed, shifting my pain racked body to a more comfortable position.
“God has not imputed sin on you. Jesus took that which you deserve and gave you a brand new relationship with God. God does not look at your transgression anymore. The prostitute is dead. This new Kike has a new father and a new Lord.”
I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, I muttered.
Kemi smiled. “Let me get something for you to eat.
” Where is Peter?”
“He is with my husband in the consulting room. Segun is trying to convince him to run tests”
My eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Segun thinks he should also run some tests too. Just so we can be sure all grounds are covered.
I stared at my friend as she left the room. For the first time, it became clear that there was a possibility that my husband might be the root cause of my inability to conceive a child.
My thoughts didn’t stop churning at this fresh stir until I returned home to discover that my husband refused to take the tests. I was consumed with rage. A part of me I never knew existed showed up.
Photo Credit: Internet.