Have you met Sister ‘it’s-not-his-fault’ before? You haven’t? Alright. Let me make a formal introduction.
Sister It’s-not-his-fault is a young vibrant lady. A graduate of physics with high prospects. She is crazy about one tall muscled-six pack brother like that. What’s that his name again? We call him Brother Dan.
Bro Dan is the head of the Bible study department and he can speak big grammar ehn. You should visit my church for our Bible study. You’ll be mesmerized. Whenever you decide to come, make sure you come along with a pen and paper. You may need to jot down some ‘antidisestablishmentarianism’ kind of words.
Sis It’s-not-his-fault has been courting Bro Dan for two years. Their wedding is in a couple of months. One evening, my friend, Sis It’s-not-his-fault, called me. I could tell that she had been crying. I was greatly worried so I rushed to her house.
She blew her nose into a mucus-soaked handkerchief. “Yesterday, Bro Dan came to my house to pay me a visit. I was not at home and my parents had travelled for my sister’s convocation. I return to find him in the kitchen caressing Labake’s buttocks.”
My eyes widened. “Labake, your house girl?”
She nodded. “It’s not his fault. I’ve always known that Labake is promiscous. Once my parents return, they must send her away. Can you imagine, she stood there enjoying the whole thing.”
“So why are you crying?”
“I just wish girls are not so attracted to him. Is it a crime to marry a handsome man?”
It almost slapped her as I confronted her with the past. “Is it proper for Bro Dan and Franca to be playing romance at the back of the toilet at a night vigil? should your anointed fiance be staring at the back side of new members in church?”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand Ore. You should see the way he cried and knelt down asking for my forgiveness. He said He is going on a three-day fast to seek the Lord. He’ll change. I believe God. He needs me so much now.”
This next incident led to the end of our friendship. One Saturday evening, she knocked on my door while I was ironing my dress for church. Her eyes were red. I sighed. I knew what was coming.
“I saw used condoms and strange underwear at the back of his TV set. Ore, I love him and I know he wants to change. I know it’s not his fault. I just wish I didn’t feel this terrible.” Her face was covered in tears.
I couldn’t take it anymore. ” Don’t ever talk to me about Bro Dan again. If you are not ready to leave him, then good for you. I don’t want hear your stories.”
She looked at me, stunned. “You are suppose to be comforting me at this difficult moment. What kind of friend are you?”
I shook my head. “For almost two years, you’ve been coming here, crying over a guy who isn’t ready to change. Do you want to do this your whole life? See the signs girl. Love is not blind. It sees clearly. Hian!”
Sis It’s-not-his-fault hissed and stood up. “It’s not your fault. If I hadn’t shared my heart with you, you wouldn’t have had the guts to talk to me like this.”
She marched out of my house.
This is a piece of fiction, but can I ask, what are the signs you are ignoring that God has been pleading with you to see.
He has slapped you like how many times now, and yet he tells you, It is his nature. His grandfather was hot tempered and his own father too. He apologises every time it happens. You love him and besides time is not on your side. You have decided to endure. Ehn?
You are always arguing on many issues and never coming to an agreement. She no go gree, you too no go gree. You say, this will end after the wedding. Hmmm.
You caught her twice as she quickly grabbed money from your wallet and later denied she didn’t touch your money. She is a virtuous woman. She is in the choir. Really?
Read the signs. Stop thinking you can change people. Marriage is too serious a journey to be empathic about it.
On another note, You see, when a person covers up a foul attitude by saying ‘that’s how I am. It’s my nature. There is nothing I can do about it.’ It makes me wonder. I thought there is something called personal or character development.
Besides, how do we as Christians continue to give excuses for continuous indulgence in sinful acts?
The new nature we have received cannot get comfortable with flirting, slander, immorality, rage and all of those things that belong to our earthly nature.
The natural man cannot please God and it is as we allow the Lord work in us that the ‘weaknesses’ and desires of the flesh will be replaced with Christ life.
it is not enough to keep asking for forgiveness while we constantly ignore the prompts or the things the Holy Spirit is requesting we do in line with putting to death those natural tendencies.
Even though we were crucified with Christ in our weak state, we live by the power of God.