Dear Christian Singles,

I have few things to share with you. They are thoughts flowing from the depth of my heart. Most of the things I’m about to say, you know already. So see this as a reminder of God’s expectation for us as singles in his vineyard.

Life can be unpredictable sometimes. Certain things may not work according to your plan and timing. However, it is not a reason to stop moving forward or to lose faith.

Let me tell you something. It’s a whole waste of time sitting back and regretting over what you couldn’t achieve at any point in your life. Stop wishing for things you cannot change and focus on what you have in your hands now.  Life may not be fair, Yes but God is faithful.

Letting go of things easily is the best medicine you can give to yourself. Bitterness, envy, resentment aren’t worth holding on to. Let it go no matter how hard it hurts. Forgive. Learn your lessons. Move on.

If you have issues letting go of the hurts and pain of the past because someone betrayed you so badly or for some reasons you wish you had been firmer with your convictions, take the issue to God. Pray for the person involved and ask God to heal your heart. The healing process may take a while, but as long as you continue to speak to God about it, your heart will come to a place of rest. What you must never do is to take the story around. You’ll be feeding bitterness rather than starving it.

Defeat starts from the mind. If you can learn to control your mind, there is no limit to which you cannot reach. Fill your mind with thoughts centered on God’s Word. Be alert and throw those toxic thoughts into the trashcan as quickly as they come. The devil wants so badly to mess with your mind. His joy is to see you live below God’s expectation for your life.

This is the best time to develop a strong relationship with God. Let’s not find you only seeking him intensely because you need a spouse. We are made to be with Him first before any other person. Praying for hours and studying lots of scriptures is fine as long as it is not done to impress God otherwise it will lose its purpose. Whatever stage you are in your spiritual journey, enjoy it while you trust the Holy Spirit to take you deeper in your relationship with God.

Godly virtue or character does not equal flawlessness. Stop seeking a flawless spouse. If you can still seek for mercy and grace to live Christ’s life daily, it’ll be selfish to except a perfect lifestyle from your fiancé. If that brother is chasing after Jesus (notice I didn’t say religion), you’d notice transformation in his conduct. Remember you also need that transformation process. It’s profitable to focus on your growth rather than monitor his every step, ready to jump out once he does something you don’t like. The truth is, as you grow in the knowledge of Christ, it’ll become easy to discern if something is fundamentally wrong or if it’s an area that can be worked on.

When it seems a struggle over a particular sin or addiction chokes you and gradually kills any sight of hope, an unflinching trust in Christ’s finished work is the way to victory. Keep your eyes fixed on what Christ has done already, no matter how many times it reoccurs. Soak in consistently a revelation of who you are in Christ. Celebrate the changes you have seen in your life.

Brothers, it is wonderful to be very spiritual. In fact, it is the joy of every godly sister to see the head of the house take up his spiritual responsibility. However, there is a place for life application in the soul realm. We-male and female- are made differently and we react to issues differently. Our needs are different. Our personality differ. Understanding and applying all of these in a relationship is so important. These processes can’t be learnt in a day. What’s important is for both parties to have an opened mind and a desire to learn and be sacrificial in their quest to build their relationship. You shouldn’t just talk or act the way you feel. It’s not just about you anymore. Love is not self-seeking, says 1 Corinthians 13:5.

What are you doing looking for a partner, when you don’t have a basic understanding of You. Finding your identity and purpose starts with God, in the depth of His wisdom. Thankfully, by reason of your relationship with him, The Holy Spirit can draw that out for you.

You’ve made mistakes, that’s fine. Convictions have gone wrong, that’s ok. Leave the past where it belongs. Face the future. Remember, the path of the righteous is like the morning sun. It shines brighter and brighter until the full light of the day. Christ is your light. Keep walking in that light.

The desire for sex is normal. Those urges will come from time to time. But you have the power to put them under control. There is Grace to say No to pre-marital sex. Flee! That’s the instruction God gives to us.

The decisions you make today will determine the results you get tomorrow. That hard work you are putting into your career or passion will pay off in the long run. The seeds God has placed in your heart will become fruitful trees. It may be tough now but if you keep going, you will reap bountiful harvest.

Religion is trash. Don’t live your Christian life based on what someone said is correct or wrong. Know God personally. Dig deep into the Word.

It’s all about Jesus. He must remain at the center of your life. Talk about Him. Learn more about Him. Read the epistles of Paul that centers on Him. Grow in Him.

Finally, y’all know how patience seem to be the toughest fruit to blossom in us when it comes to finding the person with whom we hope to spend the rest of our lives with.  The helter skelter and anxious thoughts isn’t bringing great results right? You just keep living your life and serving Him. He makes everything beautiful in His time. His plan is to give you a great future and an expected end.

This is my prayer: May you never miss the beautiful experiences and revelational insights God has laid out for you in this phase as a single.


Your sister in Christ,


About the author

Ife Grace

I am a faith blogger with a passion to contribute my quota to the body of Christ. I am also the author of two books: The Reunion and Spring.



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