A little girl attends her first day in a new school. A boy sneers at her and says, ‘You are fat like a buffalo.’ The class bursts into laughter.
The girl rushes into the restroom to weep while the boy who is himself battling abandonment from home feels cool at the attention he receives from his classmates. These are all a bunch of Grade 4 pupils.
That statement never gets out of the little girl’s head. As the days passes and more insults are lured at her, she gradually withdraws into her shell and sees nothing good about herself.
She grows up with this sense of unworthiness and walks through life, trying to prove she is something.
In another family, a boy stands in front of the mirror and with his clenched fist held up to his mouth, he sings aloud. His father comes in, shouts at him and reminds him that if he ever produces a recording, it’ll never sell because he has a pathetic voice. Constantly as negative words are drummed into his ears, he just gives up on it.
Now he is an adult. While in the bathroom, his roommate hears him singing and comments on how beautiful his voice is.
Would he join the choir? His roommate inquires. Fear grips him and he vehemently refuses. In his mind, he sees an audience laughing at him as he stands on the pulpit with a microphone in his hand.
Such is the power of the mind. It has the ability to store for several years negative words influenced by the environment which gradually shapes the way we see ourselves.
Some of those who have battled low self-esteem can’t even trace the root of what got them there.
Low self-esteem can be characterized by a strong feeling of unworthiness, people-pleaser addiction, depressive tendencies when no one gives you attention, fear of being scorned at, the masks put up to cover up inner struggles, the search for acceptance and love.
So you find ladies clinging to men who have no intention of committing to a relationship with them, men battered with words as children, treating their wives badly in a bid to feel a sense of worth, teenage girls ready to give their bodies just to keep compliments coming. For some, they have dragged this sense of worthlessness into marriage and have become frustrated and dissatisfied with life.
How do you deal with low self-esteem once and for all? How can a believer walk through life basking with so much confidence?
1.Understand who you are in Christ.
This is the first step for anyone battling low self-esteem. Remember that even though we are in this world, we are not of this world. We belong to another realm.
In our realm, self is not a word in our dictionary. By nature we are esteemed in Christ. This understanding will not come in a day or a week or even a month. It is a continual process. It will break every negative stronghold that has been ingrained in your subconscious mind.
A practical way to do this is to get scriptures that centers on your completeness in Christ. You can find some here.
Meditate on those verses over and over. Personalize them. See yourself as Christ sees you. Crave for a revelation on your position in Christ. Get deeper recognition into your place as a son.
If you are already doing this and it seems like there is no evident results yet, keep going. You are sowing seeds. That fear and lack of a sense of worth will break loose if you stay in the Word.
2. Our words are tools for developing God confidence.
Deal with that low self-esteem through the same process it got in. Words.
The best time to see this work effectively is at the point when those negative thoughts hit you. Don’t just jump and claim the power available to you in Christ only when every thing is going well and then you recoil when you come face to face with that feeling of fear or worthlessness.
For I know whom I have believed and I’m persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day. 2 Timothy 1:12
Practice speaking back to those thoughts. Your life is no longer yours. You have been crucified with Christ. You now live on the faith of Christ, who died and gave himself for you.
Tremendous changes will occur when these truths become part of your being. You will no longer see yourself in the picture. Christ will take the center stage.
3. Step out of those fears keeping you back.
One of the things the Holy Spirit will break as you release yourself is the fear holding you back from enjoying the great benefit Christ offers to you.
As you fill your mind with the truth of God’s word, the Holy Spirit will begin to pull up those areas that require mortification.
Don’t skip this process. It may be painful but it’ll be worth it.
You might be pulled back into your past for certain reasons. Where you need to forgive someone or in cases that require putting an axe to the root of bitterness. The Holy Spirit may instruct you to step out in faith towards abilities you possess that have been silenced out of fear.
Struggling with the leading of the Spirit will keep you stuck at a spot.
4. Constantly seek a revelation of the love of Christ towards you.
I left the best point for the last. This right here has released in me such confidence than I have ever thought possible. The more I understood the love of the father for me, the greater the strength I received to push negative thoughts aside.
May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Ephesians 3:19
Experiencing this love comes by revelation. Meditate consistently on the verses that tell of God’s love for you.
Pray for enlightenment into this truth. Bask continually through songs and words in the unconditional, unending love of the Father. Let this build thick godly roots in your heart.
One day, you’ll look in the mirror and all you’ll see is a beautiful and beloved child of God with the ability to rule on earth bearing the incredible power of the Spirit.
Here are some declarations from God’s Word that’ll help you build confidence and give you the strength to stand against every form of negativity.
1. Who dares accuse me whom God has chosen for his own? No one- for God himself has given me right standing with himself. Who will condemn me? No one- for Christ Jesus died for me and was raised to life for me, and he is sitting in the place of honour at God’s right hand, pleading for me. Romans 8:33, 34 NLT.
2. And I am complete in Him, which is the head of all principality and power. Colossians 2:10
3. Behold what manner of love the Father had bestowed upon me, that I should be called the sons of God: therefore the world(low self-esteem) knoweth me not, because it knew him not. 1 John 3:1 (emphasis mine)
4. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works, and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalm 139: 14.
5. For he hath made him to be sin for me, who knew no sin, that I might be made the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Cor 5:21.
6. And I have known and believed the love God has for me. God is love and because I dwell in God, love flourishes in me. 1 John 4:16.
7. I am able by the Spirit of God to comprehend the breath, length, depth and height of the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:19.
Your value is in Christ!