LOVE THAT SEES BEYOND THE SURFACE

There was this sister who attended this Bible believing assembly. She was very dedicated to God’s work. I mean you couldn’t catch her doing anything outside morality. Her confidence and poise amazed us. No hair out of place. She knew the right words to say and at the right time….and she knew the Word…She breathes revelation like fresh air..

Boys, sorry I mean brothers began to visit the Pastor’s office. Who no like better soup. Now in this church, there is an established rule. You do not propose without first telling the Pastor about your intentions.

Alarmed at the growing number of these brothers in different shades of suits, the Pastor called her into his office. They talked at length: The queue was getting too long. Make a choice. Pray. Stop wasting time. Bla. Bla..

She finally settled for Bro Mike. A very calm brother in the ushering department.

Mike’s friends did not let him hear word o. The guy don win jackpot.

‘How did you do it?’

‘Which charm did you use?’

‘God, you are so lucky!’

Seven months into the relationship. Mike backed out. Mehn, people shock. Me sef, shiver. How can a sensible man do this. Are they following him from his village ni.

Pastor stared at him the Sunday he explained how he felt about the relationship. ‘Brother Mike, do you know how lucky you are? Are you thinking well at all?’

Because I like gist and I could not understand why my friend would break up with someone so good, I pleaded with Mike to have lunch or dinner with me. In my mind, something wasn’t right. Faithful men are hard to find o and prudent wife nko, odi very very scarce.

Mike agreed to meet with me one Saturday evening at Chicken Republic some where around iyana Adeoyo area.

‘Ore, kilo sele. Is she a bad somebody inside the wardrobe ni.’

Mike sighed. ‘Ife, I don’t understand. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with my head. See, Rita is an amazing woman. She is prayerful, organised, patient…she has a good heart. But I know something is missing. It’s like I’m not myself when I’m around her. I try to be myself but it’s so difficult. My friends say I am mad and I want to agree with them. But this relationship is just bland. Bland of life.’

Two years later, I met Mike at the Believers Convention in Lagos. I saw him with Sis Chioma! I almost screamed. She was heavily pregnant and her hands were wrapped round his waist. They were dressed in the same attire sef. For several seconds I stood there my mouth opened so wide that flies could have been able to swarm in at once.

Sis Chioma! Sis Chioma of all people. Sis Chioma that behaves so babyish. The one I had called aside to one corner to tell her not to wear one terrible combo that looked like ‘Joseph’s coat of many colours.’

I liked her innocence and the way she was eager to participate in the Sunday school discussions. Very free spirited. Loud voice. Bright eyes.

Sis Chioma that I caught sitting in front of her veranda, her legs crossed with a pot of jollof rice and when she raised her head and saw me, she ran into the kitchen to get a spoon and then came back and said, ‘don’t tell them in church that I used my hand to eat o’ and then afterwards shoved a piece of meat into my mouth. How on earth did someone like sis Chioma end up with someone like Mike. How biko?

When I finally got the strength to walk up to them, she saw me and shouted my name and then came running towards me, her protruding stomach crashing against my flat tummy . I almost fell. Later, as we stood side by side, Mike and I, watching his wife laugh with some other women, he smiled and turned to me;

‘Ife, I feel so much at rest. She is a strong woman who loves the Lord. Sometimes I’m amazed at the things that come out of her mouth and the way she react to things. She is not perfect. Neither am I but I don’t have to try to be at my best with her. I don’t need to prove anything. I’m just Mike.’

Fiction. Yes. But… what’s your definition of a ‘wife-husband material.’ ‘What defines ‘the right man’ whom you’ve just met at a glance.

When a man says ‘that sister…infact she has everything a man needs. What does he really mean?

I remember two sisters back on campus whom some would have thought in this manner, , ‘who for Christ sake will marry these ones.’ Dem don marry o.

I remember meeting someone too and wondering, ‘chei, the woman for this guy is lucky o.’ What did I see?

What do you think ten brothers who saw ‘will’ to one sister have in mind…What did they see.

When Jesus sat in that ship and told the disciples, ‘launch out into the deep.’ He understood the important of depth.

Because we are quick to write off people without really knowing them, we hastily jump into conclusions based on what we see on the surface.

And then when you move close, you are amazed or disgusted.

What you see when you launch into the deep will definitely give you a better perspective- positive or negative.

That is why the next time you see someone you think is the right person because of what you saw on the surface, relax. Seek God’s mind before you launch. It will save you 10 years of jumping from one person to the other.

But you know what, when Jesus gives you a go ahead, and says, ‘Launch into the deep.’ There are loads of fishes waiting for you therein. You may not see the great benefits and beautiful connection of spirits at the surface, but as you launch, you will astonished at the wonderful things you’ll find.

That’s how some sisters will be afraid of brothers they think are too spiritual…because these brothers can talk Bible for Africa and their prayer schedule ehn, Na gbangban! Of course the fear is that brothers like this hide under deception and some feel the house will be too gim gim…boredom things…but really, if Jesus says ‘launch!’ You’ll be amazed at how playful, open-hearted and loving they are…

This principle applies to every area where God is asking you to step out even though impossibility loom at the corner.

Many things are not visible on the surface.

Launch into the deep…only at His command.

Related: When you say you are in love

When the pressure to get married becomes intense

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