Cross over night was an exciting time for me. Responding to prophetic declarations with a resounding ‘Amen’ was just enough to believe in the easy life 2019 would bring my way.

That night, I blasted in tongues, started my one year bible reading plan, caught rhema from the Word and had a beautiful time writing an episode of a blog story series… but by the end of the first day of the new year, I was not only unable to get out of my bed due to this fever that made my chest hot, I was also feeling depressed

January 2 turned out worse. The enemy practically set up his armor tank in my mind. Pessimistic thoughts that had not showed face in a long time almost buried me alive. God seemed so far away and I couldn’t feel or touch Him.

I lay on my bed, numb. When I opened my bible to read, It made no sense. I couldn’t believe that Creflo Dollar’s sermon on How to commune with the Holy Spirit that had made me so alive and on fire last year became so bland as I listened again.

Then an unhealthy pattern that I had vowed would not occur again paid me a visit and it didn’t come in a new style. It was real dejavu.

I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I didn’t want to talk to any of my friends. I felt like shutting down my blog and going off social media completely and while all of these struggles beset me, I was laid out, with a blanket over my hot chest.

Why for heaven sake should this year start off for me with messed up emotions?

At a point I didn’t want to hear anyone mention the name God. I didn’t want to hear about prayer or God’s Word. I was like Elijah calling forth fire on Mount Carmel and afterwards running from Jezebel, pleading with God to take his life.

But in the midst of all that happened that day, I realized that I didn’t have anyone else to turn to and for that moment, I stood above those negative thoughts and said,

‘Lord, I trust you.’

Why am I sharing this?

I know your Pastors have made prophetic declarations for 2019. I know many have stirred your hearts and you have danced and shouted and jumped in excitement from those soul-stirring words. That’s fine.

But I’m not promising you that challenges or difficult moments will not find their way to your doorpost this year despite those declarations.

That you shouted ‘Amen’ during the cross over night is not enough to stop the devil from putting forth his tricks and strategies.

I’ll be deceiving you if I say you won’t feel like giving up on some days.

As long as the god of the world is still roaming around, he’ll keep loading his cartridge with bullets. He’ll come after your mind. He’ll bring doubts. He’ll tempt you with desires that kick against God’s word.

He’ll try to convince you that God doesn’t care about you. He’ll point out your peers and remind you how far they have gone in life. He’ll do everything possible to make you forget all of God’s promises.

But here is how it works for us who are the redeemed of the Lord:

You may not always feel God around you this year but you must know that whether or not you feel Him, He is right there in the midst of those challenges.

It may be that right now, you are wondering what good thing the year has brought because nothing’s changed and everything is as dry as ever but hey stop right there…God is jealously watching over you. Psalm 1:6(NLT) proves that.

The battle in the mind still continues even in 2019. That battle between believing God and trying out stuff with your logic, that battle between carnality and spirituality, the battle between responding to addictions and resisting them with God’s word…those battles will never cease.

In the words of our Lord Jesus:

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

By the very fact you are hidden in Christ, you have overcome the wiles of the devil. Walk in your victory by faith.

I stumbled on a song that reminded me that God is with me at every point of my life. I hope it reminds you too. Take a look at the lyrics. 

God on the mountain

Life is easy, when you are up on the mountain,
And you’ve got peace of mind
Like you’ve never known
But then things changed and you are down in the valley
Don’t lose faith, for you are never alone.

But the God on the mountain is still God in the valley
When things go wrong
He’ll make them right
And the God of the good times is still God in the bad times
The God of the day is still God in the night.

You talk of faith, when you are up on the mountain,
Oh but the talk comes easy when life’s at its best
But its down at the valley of trials and temptations
That’s when faith is put to the test.

Making plans for personal bible study, going to church, praying…are great plans for the year, but at the bottom of it all is that unwavering faith and a knowing that God is always there, not matter what.

...Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Ephesians 6:10

Happy new year.

Read: Dear Christian, are you not tired of trying so hard

When life doesn’t go as planned

Here’s a link to that song ‘The God on the Mountain…’

About the author

Ife Grace

I am a faith blogger with a passion to contribute my quota to the body of Christ. I am also the author of two books: The Reunion and Spring.


  • You are not alone, Dearie.

    My health became poor again. It’s obvious I need medical attention before work resumes officially.

    Quite amazing how I have received a prophetic word which is penned in my journal that “peace and health are mine in this new year” yet I popped in some pills yesterday to put an end to the slamming headache and chills.

    Even, as I type these words, I’m also trying not to let “issues” put me under.

    God is all we need even when the sum does not add up.

    God is your strength.

  • Happy new year ma!
    I’m glad you found your way back to your source (JESUS), regardless of how you felt. I can completely relate with what you felt; I felt similar during my retreat into this year. A lot of messed up emotions. But I found out how important it is to mediate on and declare God’s Words in times like this.

    Thanks for sharing this, it’s a confirmation for my tomorrow’s blog post. I’ll link this post to it.
    Have a beautiful year ma.

  • Thank you for sharing. I am happy you are back on your feet. Thank God for He promised never to leave us alone. May this year bring you pleasant surprises.

  • Almost same way my year started as well…really troubling thoughts…the fact that the first dream I had after crossover night was the opposite of my desire further heightened the negative emotions.. But I’m better now. Had to go back to my Source. Happy new year Ife-Grace

  • 2 Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

    Happy New Year Sis.

  • My state from January 1 2019. I struggled hard not to give up. But you are right ma He is always with us weather we feel His presence or not.

  • It’s nice reading from you this new year.
    Secondly, you might want to get Tim Lahaye ‘s books titled “Why you act the way you do”, “Spirit controlled temperament” and “Transformed temperament. “Happy New Year.

  • I was just on the same page with you.
    I was so down that I could hardly mutter a word to God…
    Thank God am on the recovery side
    Thanks for sharing
    Happy blissful year

  • Happy New Year Ife. Yes indeed the most important thing is unwavering faith in God when your mind is at work.

  • Ife Grace is at it again!!!!

    There are weary days for real!!
    Those days when scriptures sound so strange with no life in it.

    Thank God for always restoring his own.
    Indeed the name of the lord is a strong tower the righteous runs in and is safe!!!

    2019 we know The devil will visit but no problem Christ has already overcome the world!!

  • This just lifted my spirit.
    Thanks to God for helping you get over the despair and worries. I believe He’s definitely working out something for our good even beyond our imaginations.
    Thanks for the encouragement and reassurance. God bless you richly sis.

  • This is so encouraging. Ma Grace, I think some of our experiences are to prepare us to help someone who will need our help getting through something similar.

  • The devil is out on full-time this year to weaken and discourage believers who gave him unrest previously by causing havoc to his kingdom,but we’ll hijack his plans by fire 🔥. Focus on Jesus, prayer and the word will give us the victory!
    The Holy Spirit will help us!!!

  • I’m glad I got led to read your blog again today.

    “that battle between carnality and spirituality, the battle between responding to addictions and resisting them with God’s word…”

    The quote above… Is me right now. But I trust God to help me.

  • A very inspiring story.i was meant to read it at this particular time.I believe that the God on the mountain is still God in the valley…..


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