WHEN I’M GONE

W

I was in 300 level when I lost interest in my law courses. I stopped learning and instead waited until exams were close before picking up my books to read. The fear of carrying over a course was enough to keep me in the reading room for hours.

 I remembered reading for my Tax law exam in two days and as expected, when I got into the exam hall, I poured out all I had crammed and forgot everything afterwards. I got a B. But whose brain has grade helped?

Then I met a friend who drew in her drawing book during lectures…. Didn’t they say birds of a feather flock together? Whenever we met for our long chat, she spoke about her business plans and I shared my goals and the passion in my heart. I remember we would shake out heads as our classmates in their loud baritone voices excitedly argued, quoting dictums and latin names and cases.

I rounded up my degree. Proceeded to the law school that same year. Finished. Got called to the bar.

Did I waste six years pursuing something I had no passion for?

Questions like that do not require answers. Because past is past.

This is where i’m going…

As I grew older, my journey into self-discovery  I began. My life began to make sense in a completely different area. But somewhere at the back of my mind, I asked myself, ‘Do I know how many people would kill to get this certificate that I was keeping in my box?’

It got worse when people began to ask if I had opened my chambers. Others showered prayers for me in hope that their future ambition for me as a Senior Advocate of Nigeria would come to pass.

I saw myself as, Lazy. Foolish. Complacent.

But each time I sat in the court room, I knew I didn’t belong there. My heart danced to the  beats of a drum somewhere else.

My life isn’t in a perfect state at the moment, but gradually, I’m taking baby steps towards the longings of my heart.  I may not be able to afford the many luxuries of life now, but I’m living. I’m not just existing.

I’m not sad at the arrival of a new day.

I have dreams that I hope to achieve

As my friends and classmates are standing for rights and advocating in anyway possible, I am holding my pen and striving to help young people draw close to the Creator. No competition. Everyone stays on their lane.

The most important thing is, we are all pursuing a future that brings satisfaction

Related: Your Certificate should not define you. 

This is what I have discovered:  Life is too short to live another man’s dream. It is too brief to allow society dictate your choices.  

Carly Fiorina, the former chairman and CEO of Hewlett-Packard said this:

‘Love what you do or don’t do it. Don’t make a choice of any kind, whether in career or in life, just because it pleases others or because it ranks high on someone’s else scale of achievement…Make the choice because it engages your heart as well as your mind.”

It doesn’t matter what course you studied in school. If you discover that something else is tugging at your heart, take a step. Pursue it even if it means taking small steps.

You do not owe any man an explanation to the way and manner you want live your life.

Do not think you are too old to make a u-turn. You can still leave your footprints on the sand of time. 

Stop giving people the permission to run your life.

Push the fear aside and pursue that for which you have been created.

Find a way to connect with the things that brings you joy and satisfaction, even while you are still hanging on to that survival job that pays your bills.

Certainly, one day, our days here on earth will elapse.

…When I’m gone, and those dreams die with me, I would have failed.

 

About the author

Ife Grace

I am a faith blogger with a passion to contribute my quota to the body of Christ. I am also the author of two books: The Reunion and Spring.

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