Recently, I published an article on How to control your sexual urges as a Christian single. It is a detailed post that proffers practical guidance when it comes to making the right decisions with our bodies as Christians.
Few weeks after publishing that article, another salient question arose in my heart after counselling a young lady on this issue. How can a believer handle the desire to respond to sexual temptations right at the spur of the moment? I believe this principle I’m about to share is the most effective and quickest method to get that desire under control.
First of all, this post is not directed just at christian singles who are believers, I believe it is also for those who are married but for some reasons are far away from their partners or in situations where one of the spouses is not in the mood for sex. Also in cases as a married person where your marriage is going through turbulent times and in the midst of it, your body calls for sex and yet you know you dare not bring it up with your partner.
Rather than give in to pornography or masturbation, instead of getting into extramarital affair on the grounds that you were overwhelmed by your sexual desires, how can you subdue those desires when there is no way out to express them.
Here is the secret:
Always maintain a spiritual atmosphere before the urges show up and especially when you are tempted with them.
What exactly do I mean?
The flesh and the Spirit will never be in agreement. Both are constantly calling for your attention. The spirit calls on you to respond to your true nature which is a life free from lust and sexual immorality. The flesh desires you to respond to the way your body feels at the moment. It doesn’t care about God’s law. The voice of the flesh says, ‘Your body is asking for something, respond!’
While the desire for sex in itself is not sinful, the giver of sex already created a law that governs the expression of this beautiful gift. According to him, only married couples have the right to unwrap this gift. Now, if the creator, who sees the beginning from the end, has put up a caveat like that, do you think he will not also provide the way out to continuously say no to the demands of our bodies?
This I say then, walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16.
Always be spiritually conscious. Know that the flesh lurks around, looking for opportunities to dominate you. As soon as you sense those cravings, before it consumes you, immediately get the atmosphere of your mind recharged spiritually. Set the climate quickly using the buttons from the spiritual realm.
This is not some theoretical gibberish. Believers have seen this work many times. Once you believe in your heart that the flesh cannot control you because of your oneness in Christ, you’ll find the overwhelming grace to keep this flesh under your subjection.
In Practical terms, how can you recharge the spiritual atmosphere when the desire for sex is overwhelming?
1. Listen to songs that speak on your identity and victory in Christ. Plug in your ear piece and listen.
Sing along if you can. Now, this is easier if over a period of time, you have consistently listened to Christ-centered songs. What happens is, at such moments, as you listen, the Holy Spirit begins to help you pull out other songs out of your subconscious. So in this case, you’ll be responding specifically to the missiles of the spirit meant to liquidate the advances from the flesh.
This is why you can’t just fill your mind with songs that are sensually motivated. Music carries power. What you have stored in your subconscious will wait for you at the point of temptation.
Also, apart from the worship songs you’ve downloaded to your phone. Get songs with lyrics directed at your freedom in Christ.
2. listen to a grace centered sermon. I used the word ‘grace’because there are sermons that push you into guilt and condemnation which will further drive you into a circle of constant responses to those desires.
The strength of law is sin. Where a sermon presumes on your strength and ability to live a holy life, you will find yourself helplessly indulging in those sins.
Listen to sermons that speaks on the ministry of the Holy Spirit as our helper, teachings that emphasizes on your right standing with God and your place as a son in the kingdom. They will strengthen your faith in Christ.. It’ll helps you to become more dependent on the Holy Spirit and remind you that you are already an overcomer.
3. Take a walk if you can. This is possible if you have a great neigbourhood that’s secured. As you walk, sing and pray in the spirit. Make declarations on your identity in Christ. It’s amazing such peace that’ll fill your heart. You will not only have subdued the flesh, you would also have edified your spirit.
4. watch a Christian movie or if you like to read, get a Christian literature or novel to read. My blog is also a great place to set that spiritual climate in place.
I remember watching God’s not dead 2 during a very moody day and literally, I felt something shift from my heart, filling me with so much joy and peace. The major point is to fill your mind with words, pictures, songs that glorify God. When the flesh is starved, it loses strength and goes down.
Find Christ centered songs here
5. if you have an audio bible app, let it play while you listen. You could move around the house carrying out one or two chores while the words sink into your mind. I’ll suggest you start with the epistles of Paul, particularly, Romans, Ephesians and Colossians and preferably with translations like NLT, NIV, AMPC, MESSAGE.
6. if you can quickly connect with a godly friend, please do so. Ask the person to pray with you for a couple of minutes. It could be a prayer of thanksgiving, a time to declare your victory in Christ, prayers channeled towards others. Just pray.
I cannot end this article without saying this. God is not a magician. He walks with processes. None of these nuggets above will work effectively if you have not consistently given time to the word and prayers. The spirit walk is a daily experience. It is the only proven way to conquer the lusts of the flesh.
In another post, I hope to share practicals steps on how unmarried Christians in a relationship can keep their hands off each other until their wedding night. That seem difficult right? With God, all things are possible.